What the Hell???
by Aeris Gainsborough
Summary: I not only suck at romance, I also totally suck at humor!!! I was bored one day, .... blahblahblah... My friends said it's funny, but I know it's not so it's my pathetic attempt at humor ... Oh and Sara and Vincent are from something else, and Gwen and


Sara: Hiya, I'm Sara Hanishiko here, live with Zephyr Unibroq! Say hi, Zephy!!  
Zephyr: .....  
Sara: Can I call you Zephy?  
Zephyr: .....No.  
Sara: Hrmph! Well, anyway, I'm here to interview him and ask questions everyone wants answers to! Such as-  
Lu/Gwen: Why the hell are you cheating on your fiancee's best friend?!  
Sara: Uh... and-  
Nukum: Why did you kill me and my cuz!?  
Sara: Aren't you dead and in the Lifestream or somethin'???  
Nukum: No, that's Aeris, dummy!  
Sara: Just shut up and die again already! Sheesh....  
Nukum: ....Gr!!  
Sara: (Why did I let Vincent talk me into this???)  
Vincent Onoko: operating camera Heheheh....  
Sara: gulps and looks at card Ah, the first question here is, why do you wear those retarded-looking bracelets?  
Zephyr: They're not retarded!!! You are!  
Sara: Just answer the f#$%ing question!  
Zephyr: Arrr... 'Cause they hide the materia-looking orbs. If they get smashed, I die.  
Sara: Oh. Is... that it?  
Zephyr: You're cute. Wanna go on a date?  
Sara: Uhh... Vinnie??  
Vincent: Watch it Spike!  
Zephyr: That's Cloud Strife, you asshole!  
Sara: Why do the idiots always fight over me!?!?!?!? Aahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!  
Vincent: Stay away from her!  
Zephyr: Come here and make me!  
Sara: ZEPHYR!!! I still have questions you have to answer so sit down or else I'll kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Vincent: Ha Ha!  
Sara: Same to you, young man! You're both on VERY thin ice!!!  
Vincent and Zephyr: .....  
Sara: Ahem, now, the next question for you, Zephyr, is... did you ever @#$% Sally Parrey, the older sister of your boss and your current lover Gwenth?  
Zephyr: What kind of bull sh-  
Sara: Just answer it, dammit!! vein pops out on her forehead  
Vincent: I'd listen to her...  
Zephyr: Fine. No, I never did. That was Aya Zaika, when I didn't know she was Lu, er, Gwen or Gwenth or whatever of the Gaia Dreamers.  
Sara: Aya Zaika!? I thought you 2 just made out and that's it!  
Zephyr: That's the censored version. The original was never released for the public to read *cough*wasneverwritten*cough*  
Sara: Riiiiiight....  
Zephyr: What; were you jealous? Don't worry, she means nothing to me!  
Sara: ! What about, uh, Maria, aka Lizzy!?  
Zephyr: Forget Maria/Lizzy and Gwen/Lu! You're so cute!  
Sara: Vincent!!!! Help!!!  
Vincent Valentine: .....  
Sara: Not you!  
Vincent Valentine: I know when I'm not wanted :(  
Sara: Sorry.  
Lucrecia: Vincent Valentine! Get back here!  
Vincent Valentine: Yes, sweetie goes back to Waterfall Cave  
Zephyr: You know what, Sara?  
Sara: Oh god... what?  
Zephyr: I luv you. advances on her  
Sara: Vincent! Onoko!!! Help!!!!! WAAAHHHH!!!!!  
Vincent Onoko: drops camera, everything is now sideways Sara?!  
Sara: climbs on Vincent's head Help! Zephyr's trying to rape me!!!!!!!!!  
Gwen Parrey: I hate you! Wah!! And to think I wasted my virginity on you!!! runs off  
Zephyr: Was not! I was just trying to express my love!! : P  
Cloud Strife: Baka! That's not how you do it!  
Sara: !?!?!  
Vincent Onoko: ?!?!?  
Zephyr Unibroq: Really? How do you, then?  
Cloud: First you hire a crazy madman who burned your hometown and disappeared 5 years ago to kill the other girl who likes you. Then it's okay to express love to Sara.  
Zephyr: So, I should hire Glenn to kill Gwen, and Sara's all mine!  
Vincent Onoko: Hey!  
Cloud: Yep! Now, I've got to mosey before Tifa and Aeris find out what I did to them and start a catfight!  
Cid Highwind: I got the popcorn!  
Cait Sith: I have the megaphone to cheer them on!  
Yuffie Kisaragi: looks at Zephyr Didn't you say you have materia??? Gimme!   
Zephyr: Ack! I love Sara and Gwen, not you! Yuffie jumps on Zephyr and cuts his hands off NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! falls over and dies  
Yuffie: Oopsies....  
Cloud: Let's just blame it on Sephiroth!  
Yuffie: Works for me! swipes KoTR and runs away  
Cloud: Dammit!  
Tifa Lockheart: Hey! Cloud's mine, bitch!  
Aeris: rises from Lifestream Oh yeah? Try me!  
Tifa: screams like Xena DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
Aeris: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Barrett: grabs couch large enough for Cloud, Yuffie, Cid, Cait Sith, Reno, Rude, Elena, Tseng, Rufus, Barrett, Vincent Valentine, RedXIII, Zach and Sephiroth all sqeeze onto it  
Sara: Ummm...  
Vincent Onoko: Uh...  
Sephiroth: Plenty of room!  
Sara and Vincent: What the hell! sit next to Cait Sith and steal some popcorn  
Tifa: Whorebag!!!  
Aeris: Hussy!  
Tifa: Slut!!!  
Aeris: Bitch!!!  
Tifa: Don't you ever steal my man, got it, sleaze?!?!?!?!!!!  
Aeris: Oh yeah? Well, why did I have to die and not you!? You should've died by Sephiroth instead of me!!!!!!  
RedXIII: Pass the popcorn.  
Vincent Onoko: notices camera is still running, picks it up and starts videotaping the catfight Each copy is 35 bucks!  
Sara: Oh! I guess this is the end of the interview...  
Yuffie: If you wanna call it that!  
Sara: So, bye-bye peepz! 


End file.
